Never hire an excellent portrait artist.
At least not when you put your neck on the line.
Known for my barks of inspiration I have strategically dominate downed my enemies. Poets celebrate my victories by writing sonnets of fine cuisine and tail sniffing.
My first goal when I take over the world is to dig a hiding place for my squeaky toy. Only the best for my beloved Josephine.
We were deeply in love until she had too many cocktails and whacked me in the face with her tail. It all went downhill from there.
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